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Diary of an unborn child - view text

Diary of an unborn child

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Troubled by an abortion in the past?

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We met Mr R at the Created4Life display table a few weeks ago. He sent us his story to help others facing similar situations…


My unexpected abortion


When I was in my late mid teens I nearly had a baby. I know I was young when this happened but I was ready to take on the responsibility and be a dad. My girlfriend phoned me up saying that we need to talk, so I said, “Sure ok, is it serious?” She replied that it was very serious. I asked her if she would come around to where I was living so that we could talk face to face about whatever she wanted to tell me.


We went into my room where it was private away from the rest of the house. As she walked into my room I could tell by her body language that something was wrong. No sooner had I closed the door, I looked at her and she just broke down crying. I wrapped my arms around her and asked her what was on her mind. She said, “I’m pregnant”. I paused for a moment with shock, and after a minute or two I said, “Are you sure?” she replied, “Yes, I have missed my last period - they’re always on time”. I asked her if she had done a pregnancy test to double check that she was pregnant. She shook her head.


Later that same day I went to her and offered to pay for her to get a pregnancy test done or go with her to see a doctor for them to confirm that she was. She nodded with relief that I was there for her. The following day we went out and bought two pregnancy tests, one to do at our leisure, and the other to confirm with the doctor. Both the tests confirmed what she had suspected, she was pregnant. The first thing that went through my head was, “My god, we did this!”

I hugged her to reassure her that it was ok, we could get through this together and that everything would be ok. She put her head on my shoulder and started to cry so I comforted her till she stopped crying.


As the weeks went by we both came to terms with what had happened and carried on with our lives. I came round to the idea that she was pregnant very quickly and that she was going to have our child. I didn’t care at the time how we were going to bring up our child but we would probably find a way. I was happy at the life we had created together whether it was a girl or a boy. As the weeks went by I wondered what the baby would look like, what its characteristics would be and who the baby would take after.


So many thoughts were going through my mind, I was over the moon, but that was soon cut short. My girlfriend called me one evening telling me that she was in hospital, I asked her what was wrong, what had happened to her and if she was ok. She told me she was going to get the baby aborted. She’d never told me that she wasn’t ready to have a baby or that she wasn’t ready for a family right now.


I sat in my room and my heart sank, I begged her to come and talk the idea through with me before she made a decision that she might regret. She told me that it was only her choice and she didn’t want me having anything to do with the ultimate decision, but she was sorry. Once she had said this to me she just hung up. This phone call was made to me just before she went in for the abortion. I cried all night and for the following few days that were to follow, I felt so empty inside for what she had done. She had taken the life of our child who I will never have the chance to meet and watch grow up. Yes, it was her decision but I wish she had consulted me first so she knew how I felt about what she had now done with our child.


A week later was the next time I saw her. I asked her if she was ok and how she was handling with the decision that she had made. She just cried again so I hugged her and as I did, I started to cry, but after a few days she called me up to tell me the relationship was over because of the pain that had been caused on both sides. She hurt me really bad. I couldn’t believe what she had done. The pain was too much for her and she didn’t want to see me upset any more. I tried to salvage the relationship but she said her goodbyes and that was it.


Abortions don’t only affect women they also affect most men, so give it some real good thought before you make a rash decision - it’s another life we’re talking about here. The life of a baby is not just something you say, “Let’s get rid of it and be done with it!” or, “There’s always a next time.” You really don’t know there will be a ‘next time’ or that you could ever have another baby after what has happened. So you should take the chance first time and welcome it with both arms. Not everyone gets the luxury of a second chance.


Mr R, Kent, UK


Abortions don’t only affect women they also affect most men, so give it some real good thought before you make a rash decision - it’s another life we’re talking about here. ~ Mr R